Outta here!

Finally, the week from hell has come to a close, and though I'm still up at my normal time on my day off...it's for good reason. (Actually, I woke up ON TIME, which is miraculous, and quite telling of what my 9-5 er 7:30-5:30 is like since I can never do on time for that...) Little 'ol me is going to Charleston in just a couple of hours to cover Charleston Fashion Week! Since I've been writing for Examiner.com, exciting things have been happening. And, I summoned up my courage and even applied for press passes for this shindig - lo and behold I got them. They even featured 2 of my articles on their press page!

Alright. Enough back patting. I'm super nervous. One, I don't know what to expect as I've never been to a proper fashion week before. (Only written about them and made fun of the crazy clothes from them from afar.) Two, I'm not exactly as photogenic as I once was, porky. Three, I have a new tape digital voice recorder for interviews. Like I've even opened it and know how to use it...

The plus sides:

*I have a cute Liberty of London for Target clipboard to keep my notes chic on the front row.

*I have cool new gray wedges I've wanted forever that will keep my feet chic.

Pour la Victoire "Ida" Wedge Bootie (Actually not quite so dark in real life.)

*I should be there with plenty of time to gather my wits before the chaos starts. I think. That will be a first, and worth a cocktail or two.

*I will have 2 friends there on Saturday that should help me keep my sanity in check. They can't mingle where the celebrities like me do (HA), but, after the show ends, we can party down at a secret but already disclosed location.

So, wish me luck, eh? It's 7:15, I'm leaving in an hour, and obviously, I still have to pack.

Oscar Fuglies 2010

You knew it was coming - here's my list of the Oscar Fuglies, very edited. There were a lot of them this year. Eesh.

Charlize Theron in Dior

Penelope Cruz in Donna Karan

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Dries van Noten

Elizabeth Banks in Versace

Mariah Carey in Valentino Haute Couture

Nicole Richie in Reem Acra 

Charlize: AKA, Roseboobs McGee

Penelope: Is that a dress, or a duvet from a bordello...?

Mags: You are aware it's March and not July, right? And you are aware there appears to be a ghetto-tastic beach scene airbrushed all over your gown? And you are aware your crotch appears to be pleated? Oh you are? Ok carry on then.

E-Banks: The kicky ghost of Zsa Zsa, can-can champion of the Tin Horse Saloon has obviously accosted Elizabeth and tried to sneak in to the Oscars as her.

Mariah (no, I refuse to call her Mimi): I really want to like this dress, but something about it just screams "Joan Collins' younger sister" to me. It's styled all wrong. And why is she so afraid to go up a size? No one will know!

Nicole: Clearly, Snuggie has missed their demographic.

And, my final Oscar installment goes to dueling bubble wrap babes: Amanda Seyfried and J.Lo, both in Armani Privé. (These gowns would keep me entertained for hours!)

Clearly, this one goes to J.Lo, as hers comes with attached carrying case for Marc Anthony.

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! Obviously, I'm wearing my green, got green nails, Celtic knot earrings and an Irish flag pendant necklace :) I go all out (work appropriately of course)- it's my favorite holiday!

Currently listening to: Ashley MacIsaac (Canadian-Irish singer/fiddler that will get your toes a-tappin!)

Oscar Gowns 2010 - Getting to The Good Stuff

And by good of course, I mean BAD. When were the Oscars? Is it still 2010? I'm not too late with this am I? Yeah, you can cool your jets folks. I've still yet to even dip into London Fashion Week...let alone Paris! Gah! Forget flying or being invisible. The super power I've always wished I had was to be able to stop time, like Evie on Out of This World, one of my favorite shows from the 80s.

Credit (yes, I got this from a TigerBeat fan site...)

Then I'd never be late again, and never have anything undone!

Anyway, so here's some more gowns. I could put them on top of my alarm clock and smack them when my alarm goes off, because they are big snoozers. (See what I did there? CLEVAH.)

Michelle Pfeiffer - Carolina Herrera
Queen Oprah - Carolina Herrera

Diane Kruger - Chanel Haute Couture

Julianne Moore - Calvin Klein Collection

Kathryn Bigelow - Yves Saint Laurent

M-Pfeiff: We all know you can look good in a sack. So that's why you should totally step it up a notch! And I am so not a fan of that satin/charmeuse fabric with a print in it. It just looks like you spilled something on your dress.

O: Ok, so you're no size 4 any more. Big deal! There's no need to go around dressing like the grandmother of the bride just because of it. At least take that jacket off?

DK: Why am I hating on this fairly visually interesting dress? Because Di, you ALWAYS wear Chanel Haute Couture at awards shows. I know you used to live on Karl Lagerfeld's street and you and he are best buds, but at least if he's going to be throwing Chanel frocks at you, could you tell him that you've worn the black & white combo a basquillion times already and he is totally free to mix things up a little? Also, it kind of just looks like two different dresses pieced together. Just sayin.

JM: Again, Julianne...you have managed to wind up on the wrong side of the law. Well, on the fence at least. I mean this isn't a terrible dress, but it's nothing special either. And seeing how it was custom made just for you just for this event, it should totally be jaw-dropping, AND, it should totally fit you to a T. It does neither of these things. Sorreeee.

KB: I actually had to look up who that was. I thought the whole James Cameron's ex/Hurt Locker lady was totally someone else! I want to like this...I love the color, but it just screams Macy's prom dress to me. I mean, this is your first foray into the big time, hon. You should really turn it out. This is just so....generic. And satin around the lady region is almost never forgiving....EVER.

And here's two more that just meh'd the heck out of me.

Kristen Stewart - Monique Lhuillier

Kate Winslet - Yves Saint Laurent

KS: I guess I am just sick to death of the tight bodice/fishtail hem look. I mean, when it's done right, it looks amazing. When it's done like this...BLAH. And check out that crease by her crotch. It's not from hunching over (as she does), it's just...there. It's in the dress. I checked other photos. Why!?

KW: I love Kate. She's funny, she's sassy, she's an amazing actress, and she usually looks awesome. But am I right, or is this another YSL frock gone frump? Everything looks ill-fitting around the hip area, and then it just kind of gives up on itself in the skirt. Then, one could have at least punched things up a bit with accessories that popped. A colorful clutch perhaps, or even that necklace around your neck? That would totally have rocked if it were emeralds. Sigh. Or....THE HEART OF THE OCEAN!?!?!

All photos courtesy of Style.com.

See that credit above? All pics except for THIS ONE below. Why? I didn't know Queen Latifah was even at the Oscars because she wasn't in their gallery. Luckily I saw her gown on The Fug Girls and am now able to save all of you from the misfortune of NOT seeing it.

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Girlfriend looks GREAT does she not?! Not many people can pull off that color at ALL. (She is one of 3 I believe.) But THAT'S how you do a fishtail gown well. She looks stunning. (PS - Oprah, take notes.) And see? I ended on a high note. Proof I am not mean to the core.

Listening right now to the easy sounds of The Stills.

Coco Tour, Oscar gown gaffs, and a huge forgotten holiday

Under the Radar magazine reported this yesterday - Conan is touring the country for what the Team Coco website describes as "a night of music, comedy, hugging, and the occasional awkward silence." Pretty par for the Conan course! Yaaaaay!

Except....not in Greenville of course. Of COURSE. Man I hate living here sometimes. He's only going to the cool, hip cities - Eugene, OR, Austin (DUH), Vancouver, San Francisco, Boston (his hometown), even Atlanta, and...the Bonnaroo festival, et al. Anyway, good for him and I'm sure he'll be sold out everywhere. I hope they make a DVD of it. Take that Lamo. I mean Leno.

On to the Oscars! Here are the runners up. Credit (and as always, my pic is cut off - click to enlarge, but then come back!)

Cameron Diaz in Oscar de la Renta

Anna Kendrick in Elie Saab Haute Couture

Rachel McAdams in Elie Saab Haute Couture

Miley Cyrus in Jenny Packham

Tina Fey in Michael Kors

Gabourey Sidibe in Marchesa

Cam, you look seriously glam here. The hair, the sparkles, the skirt...bravo.

Anna, I seriously love this silouette. And I seriously love this color. Just...not so much on you. Your lips have disappeared on your face. If you go that pale again, please punch it up with some brighter lips!

Rachel, I wanted to hate this, but I just can't. Despite the fact that you're annoying as all get out, that bodice with that skirt is killer. The print could come off as a little hippie dippy, but with those masterful pleats, it looks etheral and sophisticated. Quite a nice dichotomy.

Remember how much I gushed about Elie Saab's Couture show?

Here are Anna's and Rachel's dresses from the runway - from just 2 months ago.

(Anna's was altered slightly - he obviously moved the strap over to hang off her other shoulder, which I like better.)

Miley, another dress I wanted to hate simply because of the gal it's on. But what can I say? It's seriously cute. I'm normally not a fan of bustier dresses, but isn't whorey at all...it's just glam. And I love it with that skirt. I...I totally want that dress. But not in that color. I'm not gettin married here people. And neither are you, Hannah.

Tina! Loving you in the one-shoulder look. You are glamming it up lately. Wish you had glammed up the makeup a little more, but I love that silhouette on you - very old Hollywood and very flattering.

Gabourey - a newcomer to the scene and already making it to my list twice. Nice! Ok that color is divine on you and I love the cut and draped cap sleeves of the dress. BUT, I don't like the floral appliqué. I feel like it's too much. Like, if you just kept the one on your shoulder and across your chest, and maybe one little one in the center of your belly, it would be perfect. Keeping all of those all over is overkill and looks matronly. Just sayin.

Well. I had all this done Friday before I left...why didn't I just post it then? Who knows. I thought I would be working feverishly into the weekend adding even more Oscar commentary perhaps. Either way, it makes this post far more untimely. :(

Oh, and lest I forget!

Ok, it's actually NOT Grammar Day, but it was on my birthday last week - March 4th :) Not that I forgot to celebrate - oh no, I was sending Grammar Day e-cards left and right ;), but I forgot to post about it here. I am kind of obsessed with grammar, so it's fitting that this holiday falls on me (and my mom's!) birthday. (That's where my moniker grammarous comes from - clever, no?) Here's a link to SPOGG (Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar), of which I am a proud member. They are the founders of NGD. So go out and spread the proper word my friends. Let's keep this world a properly spelled and punctuated place.

Currently listening to: The Chalets

Epic News! Betty White will host SNL!

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So there's been this Facebook campaign going around trying to get Betty White to host Saturday Night Live, and it worked! Oh the power of viral social networking...
Aren't you so excited!!?!!? I know I am. Apparently the buzz about getting her on the show started after her brilliant Super Bowl commercial, which I was a fan of as well, and showed you here.

It will be a a part of a special Mother's Day episode including former SNL cast members (who are also mommys) Tina Fey (swoon), Amy Poehler!, my beloved Molly Shannon, Maya Rudolph, Ana Gasteyer and Rachel Dratch. Betty White is not a mom to any human children (that's her Golden, Pontiac pictured), but SNL creator/demi-god Lorne Michaels told USA Today "She's the mother of us all in comedy." True dat.

So, for those of you who have written off SNL of late, I've been watching it, and it is still funny. The current cast is young, fresh and talented. You can't deny the hilarity of Andy Samberg's SNL Digital Shorts like "Dick In A Box" or "I'm On A Boat," and my current favorite recurring skit (which dare I say, keeps getting...BETTER??) "What Up With That?"

I couldn't resist - last week's was TOO FUNNEH! Zach Galifianakis playing a double sided flute!?! Plus the amazing Fred Armisen, love-to-hate Jason Sudeikis (I smell the new Will Ferrell), and you KNOW I love me some Kristen Wiig...anyway, I can't wait to see how they all interact with Ms. White. I'm sure they will all be pissing their pants just to meet her! She will be awesome - she can play the sweet old lady, the dummy, the cuss-you-out granny - she can do it all. She is AWEsome! Check it out May 8 folks. And watch it with your momma :)

Currently jamming to: The Black Keys

Long time, no post!

You guyyyyys, so much has happened! I don't know where I've been. Oh, I've been trying to avoid turning 29. Oy vey. So that happened. Suck. And look out. This post is all linked up!
Let's see. Thanks to my favorite morning news outlet, The Rise Guys, I found out Corey Haim died this morning of a drug overdose. Tear. The much overhyped (thanks to me) Boondock Saints 2 came out yesterday, with no fanfare. JPG for Target hit stores, as did Christian Siriano for Payless, (remember these? you can totally buy them now!),

um, the Return to the Green Irish Heritage Festival was Sunday, SANS DOGGIES - pictures soon, and my favorite holiday is coming up next week! Yeah and guess who WON'T be having their annual party for it this year!? US! (I take that back. We're having one, it will just be late, and entitled "Lame Patty's Day." For reals.) Hubbs and I will be at the Hilton Head Island Wine & Food Festival this weekend, which is good, because we'll be boozing it up with friends...but, hubbs is working the festival so he'll be really tired and I won't be with him (which leaves me to my own devices, which I'll go into in a bit). I love that we are promoting our dear friend's wine, Dr. Schreiber, though. Heil Hans-Helmut und Andreas! Anyway, back to being left to my own devices. last year's festival is where I began my infamous Fashion Don'ts album. And it was glorious. If you haven't taken a look at that on my Facebook page, you are really missing out. I am hoping for another goldmine this year, so wish me luck! :)

Oh yeah...something else happened this weekend...The Oscars?? I think. Of course, I just yesterday looked up who the heck won...and I still don't even remember. Was it The Hurt Locker? I really feel like I'm spoiling nothing by revealing that here, so if I just ruined your day, you're under an even bigger rock than me. Again, I really despise the awards shows, I just like the fashions the day afterwards! So, let's have a look shall we?

Unfortunately, this year was a big snooze fest. They should have just paraded the costumes from Avatar out on the red carpet and it would have been a much better showing.

I did have a clear stand-out favorite, however. Ms. Zoe Saldana! She wore this little number, which if you'll remember back a few months ago, I suspected would show up on the red carpet when it appeared on Givenchy's Couture runway in Paris.

The girl's got good taste! :)

All photos via Style.com.Helen Mirren (halo added by me) in Badgley Mischka

Sigourney Weaver in Lanvin

Carey Mulligan in Prada

Vera Farmiga in Marchesa

Robert Downey Jr.'s wife Susan in Jean Fares

Remember what I said, folks? Helen Mirren can DO NO WRONG.

Sigourney, that is perfection! Modern, classic, stylish, flattering, sexy, age appropriate...Carey, please go back to brunette...you were so cute! But I totally dig your dress and shoes! You know I love a good ruffle, and unlike on Chloë Sevigny's unfortunately overwhelming Golden Globes gown of a similar nature, this one on Vera is in a standout color, isn't creeping up her backside, and cuts away to show some figure. Hello, Susan. Way to cash in on the black & nude trend while also cashing in on sparkle for a big night, curve hugging for sex appeal, a cute smile and an equally cute husband :)

Okaaaaay. I guess this is getting on a bit in length. I'll be back soon with biting commentary on the honorable mentions, the almost theres and the oh-no-she-didn'ts. Plus, I plan to groan and moan about some concerts I can't attend because I'll be in Hilton Head. No really, it is a tragedy.

Currently jamming to: Jason Mraz :) 

He's turning left!

So, exciting news in the world of fashion! cinema! fashion cinema! Derek Zoolander returns!

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And I for one, am SO excited. So far Ben Stiller (of course), Justin Theroux (the evil DJ!) and...Jonah Hill (who will play a villain) are set to star in Zoolander 2. I will be really sad if Mugatu is absent :(

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Theroux, the guy who wrote Tropic Thunder and Iron Man 2, will also direct the flick.  Will Theroux move in as Muguatu's replacement? Since he's probably serving prison time (and Will Ferrell has better things to do)? And what about Hansel!? He's so hot right now. I hope Owen returns to reprise the role as well. No doubt Stiller's wife, Christine Taylor, will return to play his wife Matilda. I predict Zoolander kids to be prominent - but whoooo will play them??

Theroux is also attending Paris Fashion Week (starting March 3!) to "immerse himself on what is current in fashion," according to The Cut. I smell a walk off!

Now will someone please get me an orange mocha frappucino?!?

Currently listening to: Albert Hammond, Jr.